Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
