i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
