They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
