Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
