The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
