can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
