I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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