Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
