I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
