What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
