Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
