Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
