I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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