Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(256): View more from Alabama

Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...

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(301): View more from Maryland

he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd

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(720): View more from Colorado

Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!

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(419): View more from Ohio

Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.

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(317): View more from Indiana

Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it

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(563): View more from Iowa

i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...

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