Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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