you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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