It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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