Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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