I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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