please come you make the beer taste better
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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