he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
