He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
