there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
