Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
