my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
