New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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