Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
