So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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