I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
