Soap is not a condiment
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
