You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Drunk is not a location!
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
