My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
