your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
