i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Sponge bath it is.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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