her vagine was all disorganized.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
