Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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