but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
