he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
