She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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