yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
