$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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