no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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