Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
