her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
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