Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
