Do you still have your period?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
