ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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