dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Randomize
