I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
