I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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